Feeling - A Woman!!

Disclaimer: Cause I have written this post does not necessarily mean it is my story. It is like yet another Mani Ratnam, Gautam Vasudev Menon or Selva Raghavan movie, where parts of this blog post might be inspirations from my life. This post might also be a huge baggage of my habit of watching too many English Romantic Comedies!
When does a woman become a woman! I ve always wondered this. Pardon my upbringing in a not very traditional woman way. I have always had the freedom to choose what I would be. Unlike a lot of other girl-friends of mine, I have never been asked to bow in front of a man or even control my loud voice! I was what I was. So, it would be quite weird when I heard words like ‘Behave like a woman’ after more than 2 decades of my particular behaviour pattern. 
Moving on to think when a woman truly feels a woman. Is it when she is married off, being forced to feel shy and bend your head (which might possibly be the last time your head was held high)? or when she gives birth to her child? Or when she is seen wrongly by men in public? Or when she has the advantage of taking a Ladies queue in most places (because it is obviously shorter)?
Your woman might be too bold, too strong or even may be a feminist but that doesn stop her from being this Girl craving for attention.
·         She feels a woman – when her man tells her “You look beautiful today!” or “This color suits you”.
·         Being Sensitive, you capture her heart. One word to offer your help and she feels like she owes the world to you.
·         When she is respected, walking with you hand in hand makes her feel like your companion. Trust me, she will do everything possible to learn cricket, management or politics just to discuss it with you.
·         Being smiled at, from a distance when you find her – she loves it. Even an unfamiliar environment becomes normal and happy for her.
·         When she is complemented, while she cooks or chooses things for love. This encouragement will make her strive to achieve the taste of your liking. 
Small things make a huge difference, opening her car door, seating her at the restaurant, holding her hand while crossing the road, calling her to say you miss her or even give her a single rose! All these invoke in her the pleasant her. She might have issues, problems or cribs but never will it fail to strike the chord when these simple yet small things happen to her. She feels a Woman!!! Ready to conquer the heights !

WhatsApp & Groups

We all know that Social Networking in recent years has become 'the' thing. Even this blog link, I will first post it on FB and WhatsApp. So, even I am a victim anyway, just that at times I wish, lord! Can I have a little peace without that notification on my mobile beeping! You might say switch the ringer off, but the increase in curiosity and anxiety these things have got me into doesn let me do that!
Most recently, something that I have noticed becoming a rage is WhatsApp groups.. Trust me! More than the value they add to your life, they are the biggest pain in the ***.
What started as an easy way of carrying info and catching up has now become the biggest monster of constant texting. And ya constant reading of like some 72 texts that flidded ur inbox during your restroom gap! As my brother always says, "the 'typing..' that appears on top of the WhatsApp window during a chat is sure to get you into anxiety disorders"
I wonder, people who always talk about lack of work life balance and the need of always being connected to work are the most active in office WhatsApp groups..
Office WhatsApp groups are a group of 20 people of the team together talking on the group. Any info, discussion, decision point floated in that group will never have a logical end not will have a conclusion ever at all. Cause each one types whatever the want. The disasvantages of such groups include being subject to people talking about unfinished work, loose comments on others jobs and worst of all, long forward messages that never end. Even one to one conversations happen in the group at a lot of instances.
In process of talking so much on WhatsApp to the same colleagues who we see at work 10 hours a day, we lose out on seeing our family faces, hear them out or even have dinner time conversations with them. When right from morning traffic to the night time serial being discussed virtually, are we ceasing to live for the moment. ?? Hell yes! Answers my Mind.
As much as I spoke about misuse, certain things, that make me feel good about WhatsApp groups is the connect it provides. Being part of groups of people in different time zones, cousins in different parts of the world, groups of people who studies, worked together wanting to catch up makes it one of the best means of catch up ever. The time when we used to have international phone numbers and say 'iyayo ISD' WhatsApp has broken those barriers completely. While I see my Now Tech Savvy mom, moderating a group with all her cousins and neices, I feel happy seeing WhatsApp being put to proper use.
While wondering what next will make our lives 'unnecesarily busy', it's time for me to get whacked from all people in the WhatsApp groups I belong to! Minimum 100 slaps I expect!
PS: In the time span of 30 minutes  writing this post I went back into the WhatsApp window atleast like 25 times(excluding personal messages)

Cheers

Re-igniting Romance(post kids)

Though I am yet to experience whatever I am writing here. I would like to surely try what i write and not make it yet another article.
While catching up with a set of close friends(read:now parents of my little darling friends), my friend jokingly commented to his wife "I know we have a baby, but you know what people do if they don get food at home, they go to the hotel" Knowing my friend for years, i completely knew he was joking. But that triggered my thoughts on re-kindling romance post kids. Especially if you have a partner you know long enough to miss each others company. It makes it all the more mandatory to re-kindle the relationship, is it not?
A famous stand up comedian says "a woman's brain is like an interconnected electronic circuit. It jus goes zzzzzzz"
We are the 'XY' chromosomes who keep juggling with things of  mind. Like for example..
"What do i cook?
What i do for the baby?
Need to complete this at work..
Mom said something, right i need to do that..
I need to call for grocery
Oh! I need to clean that draw"
Between all this, we forget one thing major! Their Man.
That's the point. While all the focus goes on the new arrival in the family, family starts to fall apart. While women get so worked up on this, men start working harder just to make up with their boredom.
As a truly loving couple, all they face is growing distance and a dire need to come back. They might even express it to each other, but one needs to really take the effort to get back together!
May be a few small things from picking my little brain i thought could be..
Ordering dinner - Setting up the table at home, candle lit and have a dinner catching up on things
Watching Movie - watching some old time favorite, holding each others hands
Coffee - Sip morning coffee together in the portico/balcony and talk about the day
Dessert - A cake or milkshake together at night after putting the baby to sleep
Walk the Talk - a long walk with the stroller where the kid might also nap in the stroller while you guys get to catch up and talk
At times, I even feel they should leave kids with grandparents and go shopping or so together. A good break helps. A lot lesser frustration and a lot more romance.
Also, research states that for couples who do not get back in 4-6 months post kid, their relationships, their romances suffer.   As we all know, romance might lead to eventually a lot other things that you might have enjoyed doing together in the past too! Giving a u perfect opportunity to be friends again and and great parents.
So! Let love be in the air...
Cheers

Mini Communities in Multicultural Environment

Disclaimer: This post is strictly not against the Tam Brahm cultures or ways – Just that I picked this up as an example being a Tam Brahm myself and knowing the culture at the back of my head. This is applicable to every other community in the country.
Please note that this post might also have quite a bit of Tamil(Brahmin style) – Translations given

Namakaram, Vaango,  Enna panrel.. Inniku aathula enna samayal?
(Translate: Greetings, please come, what’s up, whats cooking at home today)

These are the words one normally hears in a typical Tam Brahm household. To be even more precise a household who are still living in reminisces of the 60’s. Those who think “God is God, rituals are bigger than god, and customs & culture– meant to be followed, the way it is convenient to them, yet claiming it to be the right way” (Ithu thaan vazhakkam). But looks like these days, business meetings and corporate environment hear such words too
Now here, we pause to talk about the kind of people who behave a certain way – just to ‘show off’ their community.

One fine morning at work, when I was engrossed on a presentation, I heard conversations that I would normally expect to hear at home or may be a wedding or even a temple. Looking up to see that, they were colleagues of mine, belonging to the same community.

In the past, I had always wondered, why do they punish me at school when I use vernacular languages, why was I pushed to talk only English all the time at college. Though I was convinced to do it to adapt to an international working environment, it came as a surprise to me when I heard such lingo. But then, where was international here? If I could talk the way I could talk to my athai and paati (aunt and grandmom) at home, why did I struggle to read and write Shakespeare?

As these thoughts ran through my mind I just realized – People did it for sheer ‘show-off’. Were these people true to the values of the community? Do they follow every ritual? Definitely NO, though they might claim to do. People who din talk the same way were shunned, made fun off or even singledout. For example, in Chennai,if someone spoke in Hindi – immediately they get snapped saying ‘Switch of that Zee Tv’! Am sure, same is the case in rest of India too. The evolution of these 'Mini communities in a multi cultural' environment are a huge bane to workspace. In many cases, where conversations are non-understandable, people are judged by language, huge mockery during meetings and moreover ganging up against other communities are a few of the visible disadvantages. 

Greeting people like they were your Uncle/Aunt, using peculiar accent to talk at work environment, I feel is a major disgrace to the community. While usage of this language is completely permitted in a closed circuit, it is inappropriate to be using such lingo in a business meeting with vaango/pongo (tambrahm lingo).

Doing a deep dive of why they use it, obviously when they know English – Looks like bonding, mingling or at times even icing. Talking a particular way makes people judgemental towards you – positive and negative. Though mostly it is manipulated by the person to bring in a positive outcome(you know what I mean). Certain people use it as advantage to get where they want too.
These behaviours in fact brand people too ! These Marwaris are like that, these Bengalis like this, this Brahmins like this (no offence meant).

While most of other countries, international environments, never encounter these issues, mentions my friend from Australia. In fact, there are not permitted to ask you for your gender, community or even religious preferences. Leaves me with the question, “Then Why Us?"
Clueless, answerless and branded as ‘Talking Nonsense’(“Unnaku paithyam pudichurthu di”) by my mom – I still continue to question and will continue to question too!!

The Super 'Grandmom'

The times when being with family was the way of life and "Grandmom" was 'the life' at home are the times my dad was born. Family here means a lot more with 20 people under one roof!

A lot of our dinner-table and tea-time conversations revolve around his Grandmom who my dad can't stop talking about. This article is an excerpt of those conversations and his ramblings about this woman who an epitome of 'self-made' 'self taught' and of course Love !! 

While these days most of us talk a lot about Woman Empowerment, Feminism even when there are opportunities and avenues, she, my dad describes was beyond sheer empowerment in times when women were meant for the kitchen.

Hailing from this well respected Brahmin Clan living in an ancestral palatial home in the temple town of Kumbakonam, all the family went through was bad career decisions by the men, fear of sustanence and a lot more downfalls. The time when 'Kunjani Paati' the nine-yard clad, olden day women rose up to the occassion and turned the life heaven for everyone around her, including his mother and his sister whose marriage lives had turned into unfortunate experiences. Giving her five daughters and granddaughters the best weddings, the grandsons education and of course excellent food for this family of 20 and guests unlimited! My dad still tells me in wonder 

"Is it even possible for a woman to be so selfless, unflappable and shoulder such responsibilities with such limited resources?"

Today when my mom makes mor kali, a south indian delicacy one can see my dad indulge and immediately and describe his Grandmom. 

Even at those times of manual grinders this strong woman used to make batter for dosas all by herself to feed a huge hungry family. When the kids including my dad passed the kitchen, she used to call out to them and proclaim "neengelaam 20 suthu suthina, aaluku 2 dosa!" Meaning - "Grind for 2 mins to earn your 2 extra dosas" and all of them used to religiously help her for it, laughs my dad!

Once, my dad recalls, she developed an ailment, and the strong woman she was, came all alone to Madras for treatment. She called her grandsons to come too, not to help, but for sight seeing! When we cringe to read the papers today, she never left a moment empty and was up to date in news, be it politics or current affairs - a mini 'infopedia'. 

While I have never lived with her or even seen her, my dad describes her so vividly that i feel like she lives along !! He reflects on her thoughts of discipline, empowerment and importance of education, while she saw him proudly graduate. Attributing his career to her push, he says with pride that his 10th grade educated grandmom did everything she could to get him to study to make him in his career. 

Now, as times change, morales and disciplines change and when women are almost treated equally with men,  this one woman is already a benchmark 50 years ago. 

Strong yet Selfless!Brave & Bold!Responsible yet Resilient!Commanding yet Compassionate!Humble yet Proud!

As I reflect on these nostalgic reminisces of my dad, I recognise where he got his respectful attitude to a woman from.  May be that is the quality what my dad looks up to in my mom ! Maybe that's what my dad aspires me to be! An embodiment of love, affection, social consciousness, fortitude, frugality, liberty and a lot more! 

Now.. Today.. Each one of them in her family feel proud to say that they belong to the legacy created by That Woman!! The Mother of all Grandmoms!! 

Cheers 

Marketers say "You Need It"

In one of these random weekday evenings, where I had a chance (read:no choice but) to sit and watch NDTV Profit. Ya! My dad likes such channels. Most of the dads do..
Being my usual self, it all started with commenting on anchors clothes and accent and all that - blame it on my limited knowledge on profits !!
It was a real estate show where they displayed all posh buildings, facilities with their prices and all that in all these newly developed cities like gurgaon, mohali etc. Further focusing on the show and the content, I found them talking about margins and profits, while I noted that my dad was watching it closely too. While I reached for the remote to change, he said "wait am watching".. I jus looked at him and said "Gurgaon?? How these people are Creating a Need na appa" He turned saw me and turned back..
May be he thought - This girl is brainless.. But on the contrary ! May be I was right !! He had no comments.. Turning pages in Masslows Heirarchy of Needs ! Or even primary basic needs.. Was n house just a basic need(safety to be precise).. Having house in Luxury is perfectly acceptable too ! Cause u can afford it and what else do u earn for ? But 2 to 3 houses, jus to buy, sell and buy again !! Where things started way back in trading, lending interest, has now come to a level of playing with real estate for just money. A lot of these luxury flats in multi storey apartments, remain locked. Cause owners(investors is the word for it) are waiting for the right time to sell.
And there the money goes, to builders who just build for the sake of it, those cracked out people who advertise it, those actors who endorse it and of course to NDTV Profit too.. Even made me think ! Why would someone sell houses on Profit? His selling pitch was so perfect, nice great things about the house, about never before customer experience, state of art and all that.. Yes boss ! We ve seen it all ! But is there a choice ? Flipside of Marketing !! Creating The Need.. Where marketing for awareness now part of marketing history..
Jus hoping dad's not falling for it and we don own a house in Mohali !! 😉 (I am just joking Dad! Incase u got to read this !!) ha ha ha !!

With Love, From the top !!

Lead & Inspire is the "in-thing" of today where leaders want to equip themselves to inspire. Turning back to my MBA days while we used to read in Organizational Behavior about Leaders and types and examples. I really used to wonder - do these things exist today, and does it even make a difference as to how the guy in the top was, when your salary and promotion was on time !!

Then did I realize the importance, when I got opportunities to work with people in top and help them transalate their thoughts to their employees(ya! Thats part of my job). There were leaders who wanted to connect, those who wanted to just bless, those who wanted to be the employee itself ! Thats when it struck, That man inspires.

"The One with class, who also appeals the mass"

A leader is like a cinema star, he needs to wave when he has to and let his hair down when needed !!  Balancing that perfectly - Inspirational !! Books call him Charismatic.. 
To an employees eyes, he will be that one who recognizes the difference between 'the employee' and 'the person'. The One that gives you clear expectations, travels the path with you and express a heartfelt appreciation at the end of it !! That does not mean he wouldn criticize you ! He will, not the past, but objectively your way forward.

He will be the One you want learn from and use as a role model in life. Who would not like to look into the cabin, smile and be smiled at !

After all ! The leader who makes his pastas, mixes your drink for you, dances for masala songs in a crowd & ofcourse does not make u feel bad for not leaving work at 9pm and offers you the drop back !!! Sure Inspires !! Permanently !

Cheers !

Are u Engaged Enough ??

Employee Engagement - The one aspect at workplaces that gets varied level of treatments. While certain leaders rate it to be the top most priority, others brush it aside as an unwanted expense ! Beyond all this, are companies doing it the right way is one big question mark!
Before even getting into the right ways of it, what does it mean to a company ? Though being associated with the employee engagement framework I have never been able to figure out what is the real intent..
Are we saying that just throwing parties and sponsoring 5 star lunches for employees gonna stop them from leaving the company.. If yes, that employee doesn deserve to be in the company at all !! While on the flipside constantly trying to make employees feel good seems to be the need of the hour !!
I always feel that there is the gap between the leadership team and the employees in this aspect.. Cause, what happens is that there is always a "I feed(read:push down your throat) what I feel you should eat" attitude among people who want to engage employees. Should  it not be "Tell me what you would like to eat, I d see how i can get u something close to that".. This is the huge disconnect that leads to lot of them being disengaged and leaving !  It is unavoidable for one to stop junior staff leaving and its good for staff who ve been around for too long leaving.. But the middle management, needs to be most engaged. Here engagement means involvement. What do they wanna hear, what do they wanna see, where are they making progress.. These things would be biggest motivation for employees to stay and contribute.. The need to have the pride of working on something that makes the own it up !!
Yes, parties and lunches do play a role too !! After all, all work and no play makes jack a dull boy !!
"Engagement is never a tick in the box, its like democracy - of the people, for the people, by the people !! Is it not??

Cheers

Refreshing Passion in Companionship !!

May be I should rename my blog Randomly.. From Indian Railways.. Cause i get to write only in the train.. Here we go plunging into today's random thoughts..  Refreshing passion in companionship..

BTW this post is 'U' certified for readers who got intimidated by the name.
Though the trigger for this was the film 'Lootera' that i saw over the weekend, i started researching on what passion actually means. Quite a few reviews on Lootera said that what was portrayed was Lust while I felt it was beautifully portrayed Passion.. That's when I typed in my phone 'passion' and my search engine said 'Bing SafeSearch would not provide results as your search might contain adult content'.. That was a shocker.
In my opinion, passion is this very strong feeling towards a person, not jus physical like portrayed in Indian Cinema. It could be passion due to the gratification that other person would give u mentally, emotionally, intellectually or even creatively.
 What we have done that word is now relating it only to making love !! Where writers in news papers talk about passionate, steamy and hot.. All the time !

That's when the movie Jab We Met(that i have watched like innumerable times) came to my kind. That kind of passion Shahid carries for Kareena in the movie is purely that emotional happiness she gives him ! In this kinda passion, you might jus want to see that person, jus a good morning from them might elate your day.. Simple things might look beautiful.. Sheer thoughts of that persons mental presence will motivate you., Though portrayal of this passion is too less in movies(from where we pick most of these things).. These do exist.. This does not necessarily mean love.. Sheer Companionship !!
You would never know when this companion might come into your life and when this passion might take over.. But when it does, jus follow your heart and go with the flow !! You will never repent !!
Cheers !!

Is it too old or are we too lazy !!

As the usual, as this writer(atleast let me call myself that) jus passes through station after station sitting in an Indian Railways Shatabthi makes me wonder, when will we ever progress in keeping our trains and stations clean.. Even if we don progress it is still ok ! But cant we have it clean? Cleanliness & Maintenence is the first thing to do.. Where does all the money meant for this go? Anyway the answer is there  - Into some palatial house of some so called politicians !!
A few questions raised in a mind.. Are we being just sheer lazy by saying that we will preserve antique and old structures and not doing anything new?? Leave alone new.. Will the old "antique"  structures get destroyed if they are cleaned and painted ?
In the same lines - a recent article talked about how people incharge and making money for themselves by refurbishing dustbins around the city and replacing them with cheaper and bad ones !
Ethics gone, conscience gone, new thinking gone, responsibilty gone !! Without all these, people are jus close to being dead.. Whats the whole point in being dead and leaving in a palatial house !!

Growth at Workplace...

The title does not reflect 100% of what is written here..

Everyone who works in big organizations normally have a little of vetti(time pass) time in which they observe and reflect on their colleagues behaviors.. Following the same path, I did observe same in my own vetti time and now reflecting on it.. I thought it was definitely worth the share..
Disclaimer : The writer was in the train while penning this down and hence everything is random..  Any resemblances to the characters at workplace is purely true though not intentionally pointed at..
There are on a base level 4 types of ways people try to grow.. To be more precise 4 types characters that people display to grow
1. People who really work smart and hard
2. People who crib and grumble their way up
3. People who stick to power centres like leeches
4. People who display high power.
Normally, we have a tendency to blame such characteristics only on women at workplace, but this is true to both genders..a
Nothing much about the people belonging to category 1. Moving to the Crib Category.. These people always go on and on.. They talk about family issues, work pressures(that might not exist), their health issues, in cycle. They always have excuses that make u pity for them.. Creating so much pity around mostly makes the managers think "This person is doing so much(thats how it seems) despite his/her problems". Though I agree its a lot in women to do this, men do it so subtlely too..
Category 3.. You really need to keep urself away from these people, if you want a peaceful worklife. These people do anything to get attention from power centres(which might include bringing prasadam from temples to always saying yes to everything told in all meetings). The stick on to the power centres so much that at times you wonder there is something between them ;-).. Also these people, will not any Category 1 even come into 1km radius of this power centre !!! These people in general terms are "Jalras" Hence obviously they get to grow !!
Category 4.. These people might or might not be power centre but their display of power makes others intimidated. The fear that person creates will make him grow the ladder very easily.. Jus that, these people need not necessarily be what they look. They will be highly insecure of the category 1 and will use their power to put them down !!
May be after reading this, u might classify people at your workplace too !! These are all random thoughts and excerpts of such discussions I have at work with a friend..
Until the next random thought occurs wishing you an awesome work life and beware of category 3 again guys !!
Cheers