Romance is....

People who speak to me know that I do keep coming back to this topic pretty often cause it is very close to my heart! Romance always is!

Currently, romance is such an abused term. With movies classifying shoddy sex as romance, songs with derogatory lyrics being romantic chartbusters, the good old romance is really forgotten. Most people have started to believe that romance is unrealistic and being romantic is like 'a requirement'  to be together! It is so not true. There is no need for a kiss on the lips or peck on the cheek either! If there is romance is in the heart, it will display itself in one way or the other! 

Romance is.... 

• A simple 'good morning' from your love that gives a headstart to your day. 
• Listening to the same song 500 miles away and enjoying the same few lines! 
• The same spark in your eyes when you see your love of 40-odd years
• Laughing till it hurts over something silly and non-understandable to anybody outside! 
• A hug that is your biggest mood uplifter ever!
• Long coffee chats forgetting where you started! 
• Sinking back into music that reminds you of moments shared together! 
• Sharing the same simplest things of your day, today and everyday! 
• Experimenting something new, failing and not being judged! 
• Understanding the other's mind without elaborate explanations! 
• Shared Randomness, wandering thoughts and aimless drives! 
• Deep Conversations about the future ending in a tub full of ice-cream!

 Love is expansive so is romance! Figure it out. Experience to know it! 

Cheers!


PS :I just noticed this is my 100th post! Yeee to me! 

Let go what was....

How many of us really try to break the pattern or routine? 

I wouldn’t call myself a great risk taker, though it’s possible that I might do a few things that seem really random to the world. 

A few months ago, a huge impending restlessness resurfaced in me.

Respecting restlessness will risk you breaking the routine is something all of us believe. While I spent months in denial, visions of the inconsistency between ‘what was’ and ‘what it is supposed to be’ caused a constant itch to follow my intuition. Eventually, the decision happened. 

When we conclude on something we are either taking a call on our own or there are some external forces that contribute in pushing us conclude. Everything happens for a reason. Good or bad, be thankful to that force. 

In between all the stares, questions, my lack of answers, frustration for choosing flight, lack of ability to fight was this beautiful halo! Happiness! I did realise that my mind was trying to support me through every decision I made.Blame your head or the supreme power, I started appreciating my courage and strength to stand up for myself. Giving myself the time and space to soak in this whole new decision of quitting corporate was something I had never done before. There will always be firsts! 

The Brief Break was here. Be it the uptight me loosening up, or a scheduled calendar throwing away her watch I thoroughly started enjoying the mindspace I had. There are always these visions in your mind that you choose to ignore when you are on a rota, trust me, those are the visions that are meant to make you happy. Never ignore them. I pursued those visions religiously and I was surprised to find that opportunities are always available for each one to draw their path. 

We all get caught in the maze of comparing our past at this point in time. 

Would it be financially viable? Would it be practical? What if I fail? and lot such questions cloud us from moving ahead.  The thought clarity and Happiness found in this process will help us navigate through all this fog. 

Philosophy ends, so does my post. Is it a happy ending or a sad ending depends on what you are gonna do with your life! Let go what was... Grab what is supposed to be! 

A Simple rebound can be your biggest Idea

Do you know that many times in life, when our decisions seem really irrational and we feel quite low, there is a possibility that we are jumping into the next big idea of our life.

If you have read this and gone ‘meh’, yes it is ok. It is as vague as it sounds.

As per the economics books, any journey has its own peaks and troughs. This is purely subjective. It is financial for a few, mental for a few more, relationship for many more and so on. At the peak, we will feel like ‘happy birds’ launching ourselves to the sky and beyond. On the contrary, a trough can lead you to so much cynicism in life shunning your ability to see the positives.

When there is a low, the mind starts working like a ‘devil let loose’. A situation I have faced with my head and just reflecting on how am turning it around for me! There is a lot of misery, disappointment, anxiety, fear of future and in few cases even mental depression. It is very sad to see that people need to go through this. They in fact stop taking any risks.

Penning Down a few thoughts based on my experiences on what can we best do... 

It is important for us to think that when there is a dip, anything after that can only be better than that! ‘It is anyway up-hill. So go right into it without fearing the failure. The simple question we can ask our self is ‘What can be worse than the present?’

So once you have made up your mind that anyway it will be better to stop wondering ‘how much better’! This is the exact time of life we need to use the mantra ‘just go with it’. You never know, you might just laugh at your this phase of life in future!

Build on the positivism people around can give you. All you need is a message that states ‘Hope you are feeling better today?’ Being around people who will just listen and not give advice unless asked really helps. You have way too much on your plate to deal with, leave alone those ‘advice toppings’ coming your way.

A low is the best ever opportunity to focus on self and do any necessary course corrections. Be it physical fitness, mental strength, skill development. There is no better time than this to focus on that. The motivation levels are terrific, believe me!

It is possible that a trough can leave you torn where you cease trusting yourself and others. Rather, start doing just the opposite. Trust yourself and others. If somebody is offering you help genuinely, trust their instinct and trust your capability. You will never ever go wrong there.

Certain times, there are people who just ‘like to watch the world burn’! You know who I am talking about. Keep away from the curious cats who are waiting to know what went wrong with your life! Smile and Laugh so hard that your positivity just shoos them away!

I am sure, each one in these stumpy situations will have an idea, that will be an inner passion waiting to be kindled. We most often do not action it due to ‘self-doubt’. I suggest ‘go for it’. So what, if it is a rebound. In most cases, a rebound does turn into one of the best decisions of your life! Remember - You have to do this for you. This is for you. Live for yourself! 

That’s enough gyan for the day! This post is not an essay of self-pity. It is a pure capture of experiences and more! Please do not text me asking if everything is ok with me.

Cheers 

Are you that ‘feminist’ type?

I get asked this question every time I open my mouth to say everybody is equal!

All I know for sure is that people who ask me this question have no idea what that word means! Infact even most of the self confessed feminists do not know what it means. ‘Feminism. Let’s use the word La La La’! But really, what’s the meaning? 

Is feminism smoking, drinking, wearing skimpy attire and walking on the road, saying things like ‘let the man bear the baby’. Noooo! You guys have got it all wrong. Unfortunately Feminism is the most over-used, over-hyped and a wrongly understood word. 

To answer the above question. No, I ain’t a feminist, I am a ‘Gender Equalist’, the someone who truly believes that men require the same amount of rights and flexibility the women get! I do get the point that our society is backed by a huge baggage of patriarchy but do you realize that it is also the  women who have played equal parts in leading our society to such imbalance? Earlier, feminism focused on equal rights for women, equal wages, right to education, right to choosing who you marry and a lot more constructive things. Actually you should read the post ‘The Super Grandmom’ on my blog to know about this iron woman who handled every bit of ten household single handedly at peace. She is the true gender equalist! 

Sometimes I keep wondering in corporate environments, when women actually want to play the gender card to their advantage, they do either of this - cry and emotionally create self pity or protest and create unrest. This is the pure reason why they feel weak in the larger scheme of things. 

Many a times I keep thinking, why can’t we just be equal? Why can’t we just do what we want and move on with it? The moment we think ‘Why can’t we do what he does?’ We have just bench marked ourself with the opposite gender when our physical, genetic and mental schema is so different and landed up in a path which is neither here or there! 

On a parting note my friend - Remember - 

If you are women who speaks the language of feminism but wants to be treated like a queen, doors opened for you and expects the man to pull his wallet out. Sorry my friend. You are nothing more than a confused adult who needs help! 

Think about and read too Guys let’s have an equal environment 

Do you have a crush?

Hola,

PS: Please avoid reading this if you feel like a ‘Sanskari Bahu’, a ‘20th Century Patriarch’ or if you are my family member! 

Crush as defined by google is a brief infatuation on somebody (usually not attainable). Is it ok to have a crush outside your existing relationship? 

The search for this question revealed some very surprising yet shocking results. I threw this question open to a varied demographic audience (all my friends of course)  and got some shocking responses. While most of the GenY thought that it was perfectly fine, I had that ‘are you crazy’ kind of reaction from a few Millenials! Friends staying inside the country were a lot more open to the idea of such harmless crushes in life than outside India. But why? It was time for research.

Generally, the motive of somebody having a crush is tainted upon the fact that they are trying to fill something lacking in their existing relationship. This is necessarily not the case. It’s a simple work of the heart, some oxytocin and visual signal to the brains. A normal human emotion has been made into a guilt trip by our social norms. We have been taught to share certain things only in matrimony or with members of the same gender. If not, it becomes a blunder. 

Do you know that research states that 70-80% of people in successful relationships have such harmless crushes and quite a few of them share it with their partners too! If something is shareable all the more harmless it gets. But, if you have something to hide, sorry - can’t help you there! 

I just hope I don get calls from my friends for getting these thoughts on to their partners heads. As for me, if you have read all this long and you really want to know if I am crushing on somebody - my blog’s name and headline will help you figure it out! 

Use your heart and crush away you guys!! Guilt free & Happy! 

Cheers