SPEAK YOUR MIND !!! Guest Post 2

Hi everyone!

It is my turn to disappoint everyone who came here to read a perfectly written article with lots of emotions and elegant words by charming Ms. AJ. 'Post Purchase Dissonance!' That’s not happening this time. You are here to read the words of a very confused and a sluggish big boy. That’s right you are reading an article which was due last week.

I should probably begin by thanking AJ for this opportunity but I am going to save that for the last. Let’s speak about something important. Shall we! Something very critical. Something that defines us. (Yes I know that you have heard about speaking your mindfor a loooong time and from looots of people.) But interestingly enough most of us are not doing a good job at it. Come on let’s be honest about it.

Ok! Let me start. I am really bad at it. More so I did not realize I was not doing it for a long time. I always believed speaking your mind was rude. And that I should never offend anyone, especially friends (Yeah I know am a nice guy :-) ). What I failed see was there is something which I was giving up all the time! My Right! Right to speak! Right to my have my opinion and more so Right to define myself.

Let’s see it in very simply way, things that happen with our friends. How many times did we have to go to a lousy movie just because our so called gang of friends wanted to see ? How many times did we have to do a shitty favor of buying a gift for a friend’s girl friend just because he doesn’t have good taste(well …when it comes to buying for women, who does?) or how may precious minutes in our life have we lost doing something we never wanted to do ? How many opportunities have we missed because at the right time we were not able to say what we wanted to? I could just go on.

I remember when I was in my 1^st year of engineering a very young lecturer put this in a nice way or should I say very understandable words for my age at that time “If you like a girl don’t just stare at her and do favors for her. Tell her how you feel because sooner or later some Shahruk khan will appear out of nowhere and take her away” Sounds lame uh? Maybe! But this statement made a me realize a lot of things at that time. (BTW I did tell her and yet Shahruk khan appeared. That’s a different story)

Never ever worry about hurting your friend by speaking your mind. If you don’t hurt them that once! You’ll end up getting hurt a lot more times. Finding it very difficult to say NO? Go through this article: www.bbc.co.uk/relationships/improving_your_confidence/exercise_mind.shtml. It might help.

Having a different opinion and yet doing quite the opposite, just because you could not speak for some reason, is really like insulting yourself. When you voice your opinion and choices you define yourself, you are letting everybody know what you are, what you want and how you think. When you define yourself, the society aligns itself to accommodate you. I agree there might be some lose in this process but it could not be bigger than losing your identity.

Not just with friends, with your family and especially at your work place. It is always better to let your preferences and choices be known. Voice your concerns! You might not just be doing yourself a favor but also helping out others who are not confident enough to do it on their own. Do not commit to anything you are not comfortable with.

If you observe it closely it all comes down to believing in yourself. You can not define what you are if do not believe you are worth that or if you think what you are defining is not worth enough. We know life is short, let’s not waste it on making everyone happy by suppressing our own interests. You might not get time in life to live like you want and do what you want, if you don’t speak your mind.

And why am I talking about this on AJ’s page??? Let me tell you! I have known AJ for almost 3 years now, sharing a classroom for 2 of it. I have never seen her doing something she did not want to do. I know what all she’s been through and never once have I ever seen her not standing up for what she believed in. That is something I have always admired about her and something which she inspires me with.

@ AJ: Congrats on your 1 year of writing. Keep going! And thank you so much for the opportunity.

Cheers

K.S.Raakeshmohan

Raakeshmohan.blogspot.com