Do you hear it too??

Nowadays, I seem to spend a lot more time on the road, than earlier, thanks to the distance between home and work! Making this entire drive interesting is our FM radio stations of Chennai.

They subject you to all the international chartbusters with award winning lyrics. An example would be 'Mascara pottu mayakiriye, mastana pesi kalakuriye'. Wow.. And when u try changing channels which are of course in plenty, you hear things like 'Oru Karapanboochi Polae Enna Kavuthupotale'.

At this juncture, my music control buttons on the steering wheel are in utter pain due to my frustration.

Where I finally land on one of my favorite channels where the RJ is pretty decent, and then he opens his mouth to talk about some vague topic like, 'uh don Mind.. Its that vague' and just goes on about it.. Here you know, to become an RJ, all you need is these things..

• Quite a horrible voice and some weird accent
• Un-understandable Tamil and English
• Talent to repeat the same thing 20 times back to back by changing words like is, was, and, it etc
• Real bad sense of humour
• And ofcourse, a bad line up,of songs.,

All these planned set of attempts to kill your morning are interspersed with unbelievable set of advertisements.

Thus, the morning drive comes to an end, when u almost reach work, there is this one nice song somewhere in some channel, but you need ta park and leave!!

While i do have the choice to still switch to some music on my phone, there is this compulsive behavior, to still browse these 10 channels in the desire of finding that one good song which you might feel like hearing. Am sure all of you experience this too.
Am not blaming every person here, there are good RJs who do a great job, few nice shows in the night who play nice songs and all. Still, there remains this obnoxiously bad package of shows making us feel that this medium of communication is crap! While it is really something which reaches so many people.. The entire traffic on the road am sure are browsing through the same way as I am.
Looking for that one good song, one good piece of news, or that one good talk by an RJ.. They are still looking...
Cheers

Few hours, a plenty memories!

'Rail Snehidam' I've always heard my aunt use this word when I was a kid referring to any passing quick ending relationships. Also, we ve seen our cinema industry constantly focussing on train relationships, I ve always wondered, how could a few hours with a stranger make any difference.
Today, most probably my last alone train journey for a lot more months, I reflect on these 10 months of my weekly bangalore train travel.
These people who I've met, might not be in touch but will always stay in the mind. These train journeys made me rekindle my writing spirit. These people have featured in my blog as experiences, memories or characters who inspired me. Be it the loving old couple who blessed me a great life, a chic aunty who discussed feminism with me, the busy businessman who I shared a movie on the laptop with, the young chap resembling my brother saying 'bye akka', the 'Thatha who spoke the best English I ve heard in days, and ya, the TTRs who gave me a recognizing smile! All these people have made my, if not strenuous travel, really pleasant!
These journeys have taught me so much patience, adjustment, silence, and the thing that 'I can stay without my cellphone signal and WhatsApp for a few hours, my head won't break'!!
Not to forget the best, booking shortcuts for railway tickets online.. 'Talk to the Expert'
Cheers

Love... Ageless..

I ve always wanted to write about it. Adult Love. Now, am not calling most of us in our 20s and 30s adults here. We are still in PDA(Public Display of Affection) mode in our life!

Observing behavior has now become my favorite hobby. I meet couples in train who are too old to lift their own bags! But he always protect his wife from carrying those bags, so sweetly saying its ok to her while she just goes behind him trying to atleast have her hand on one handle of the bag and feels that she has accomplished in helping her man.

My husband always talks about his 'Guru' who during their pilgrimage trips used to trek Sabarimala slowly with his wife and they used to hold each other all the way atop the hill at the age of 80! That's what we call Love. Love that has seen everything living in a joint family, in laws issues, financial crisis, child and difficulties and still has made the most of their happiness!. Making fun, laughing at weaknesses, and the romance is so subtle but you feel love and positivity in the air! Makes us wonder how ageless love can be!

While I was thinking about all these things, I came across this movie - Pannayarum Padminiyum. A totally under hyped movie that really should be a flag bearer in Tamil Cinema. A movie that broke all boundaries of the regular formula followed. A man who tried to impress his wife by trying to learn driving and the woman who wanted to experience going with her husband in the car with pride. The bond showed in the movie got tears in many eyes, including mine in the cinema hall making us wish to have such a love story to say!

The basis of this I always feel is going  through all the peaks and troughs together in life with a positive attitude. In short, fighting and freaking together!

Will I ever get to being there. Only time will say!!

Cheers
 

Hampi - Overrated or Underknowledged!

My February this year started with a trip Hampi, a historic place in northern Karnataka, earlier the Vijayanagara kingdom. As every traveller would do, I read a few reviews, asked around people and browsed through photographs a week before my husband and I were to land up in “The Abode”(as described by websites. If you wonder that the previous line sounds sarcastic – Yes, it is!
Hampi to my eye was nothing more than overrated historic ruins that have been made outrageously famous because the research was conducted by non-Indians. This line might provoke a ‘What? – Aishwarya is so tasteless’ feeling, but trust me, until you reach that place, you would never realize that it is nothing close to what has been described or photographed.
So, the culprit was me who pushed my husband to plan the trip. Whilst I enjoyed the trip, my stay and all that, I still wonder, what did I come back with? We initially saw a photo library full of the most beautiful pictures with awesome lighting and angles. Kudos to the photographer! We went and found that, the spot looked nowhere close to what we saw. Yes, photographs deceive.
Monuments open only form 9am – 5pm, when its sunny in an area full of rocks and sand, all you feel while travelling are heat waves on you. After walking and scaling the stairs and rocks of those completely unmaintained monuments you walk out to find a small shop in the corner selling water for Rs.50. (You have no choice). And place after place which includes things like Queens Bath, Market and all that looks the same – deserted and ruined.
It wouldn look good if I don credit a few places that had excellent art work like a stepped tank, some chariot and a Rama temple, but it still remains unbelievable to me as to how this place has gained great popularity. Being a Madrasi, I would say going to Mahabalipuram is a much beautiful experience where enough refreshments, shelters and shades make your visit comfortable.
I wouldn discount the entire experience as my taste lies more towards beaches and islands and maybe it is my under knowledge that makes me write this. But that doesn’t take away the fact that Hampi is a completely overrated spot. My suggestion – do not stay for more than a day and a half. Rather spend your time in Bangalore - Shopping!!

Success is a 'relative term'

Success is always a relative term” said the old and wise or may be that is what I have been told to believe. But never have I seen it in practice.
Like how in the movie 3 Idiots – when a baby is born people stare inside the cradle saying “he will make a successful Chartered Accountant like his father and take over the family business”. By the way, does the baby have any idea of what you are saying? He/she is forced to grow listening to sermons of different definitions of what success really means, by the time he realizes, he/she is so confused.
That’s when he/she wonders – “What is successful”? Is being a DJ at a 5 star hotel not successful? Is being a copyrighter at an ad company dumb? This phenomenon is purely because of those pages of definitions.
Success in the family is defines as any of these or being ‘like’ any of these –
·         Being a doctor at Apollo Hospital
·         BE to ‘Some Big Named’ University followed by MS in the US
·         Settling in the US in Intel or IBM(which 100000 other people are too!!)
·         Being in Timbuktu as some programmer (Timbuktu is outside India! Come on!)
·         Phd from IIT(that could be in some subject you might have no idea what it is)
·         HR in one company(They have no idea of reality)
·         Business – Preferable Legacy
·         Married to someone of any of the above categories(Girls – it is so easy to be successful)
·         And this list just goes on!!
oh! I forgot, successful people own apartments!
This is the typical Indian mentality, where if you don’t fall under these categories, either you are told - you are unsuccessful or you need to work on falling into these categories. I am no exception to having heard these sermons, though I am a firm believer of my first statement. Pressures become so high when there is a choiceless situation too! 
While I ve always thought everyone who is happy with their life, happy with where they are today and who love what they are doing are successful. They have it all right – work, money, family, contentment! But most of them that way are shunned for being non-ambitious, in-turn unsuccessful and non-respectable in the society. The society – no one knows is just a group of over-bearing, exaggerating, set of people who are saying just the right things in their lives (That is what we do too!).
For those who love what you do – continue doing it. You will always remain the most successful and happy! In mind, heart and soul! Success is always a relative term!!
Cheers

Feeling - A Woman!!

Disclaimer: Cause I have written this post does not necessarily mean it is my story. It is like yet another Mani Ratnam, Gautam Vasudev Menon or Selva Raghavan movie, where parts of this blog post might be inspirations from my life. This post might also be a huge baggage of my habit of watching too many English Romantic Comedies!
When does a woman become a woman! I ve always wondered this. Pardon my upbringing in a not very traditional woman way. I have always had the freedom to choose what I would be. Unlike a lot of other girl-friends of mine, I have never been asked to bow in front of a man or even control my loud voice! I was what I was. So, it would be quite weird when I heard words like ‘Behave like a woman’ after more than 2 decades of my particular behaviour pattern. 
Moving on to think when a woman truly feels a woman. Is it when she is married off, being forced to feel shy and bend your head (which might possibly be the last time your head was held high)? or when she gives birth to her child? Or when she is seen wrongly by men in public? Or when she has the advantage of taking a Ladies queue in most places (because it is obviously shorter)?
Your woman might be too bold, too strong or even may be a feminist but that doesn stop her from being this Girl craving for attention.
·         She feels a woman – when her man tells her “You look beautiful today!” or “This color suits you”.
·         Being Sensitive, you capture her heart. One word to offer your help and she feels like she owes the world to you.
·         When she is respected, walking with you hand in hand makes her feel like your companion. Trust me, she will do everything possible to learn cricket, management or politics just to discuss it with you.
·         Being smiled at, from a distance when you find her – she loves it. Even an unfamiliar environment becomes normal and happy for her.
·         When she is complemented, while she cooks or chooses things for love. This encouragement will make her strive to achieve the taste of your liking. 
Small things make a huge difference, opening her car door, seating her at the restaurant, holding her hand while crossing the road, calling her to say you miss her or even give her a single rose! All these invoke in her the pleasant her. She might have issues, problems or cribs but never will it fail to strike the chord when these simple yet small things happen to her. She feels a Woman!!! Ready to conquer the heights !

WhatsApp & Groups

We all know that Social Networking in recent years has become 'the' thing. Even this blog link, I will first post it on FB and WhatsApp. So, even I am a victim anyway, just that at times I wish, lord! Can I have a little peace without that notification on my mobile beeping! You might say switch the ringer off, but the increase in curiosity and anxiety these things have got me into doesn let me do that!
Most recently, something that I have noticed becoming a rage is WhatsApp groups.. Trust me! More than the value they add to your life, they are the biggest pain in the ***.
What started as an easy way of carrying info and catching up has now become the biggest monster of constant texting. And ya constant reading of like some 72 texts that flidded ur inbox during your restroom gap! As my brother always says, "the 'typing..' that appears on top of the WhatsApp window during a chat is sure to get you into anxiety disorders"
I wonder, people who always talk about lack of work life balance and the need of always being connected to work are the most active in office WhatsApp groups..
Office WhatsApp groups are a group of 20 people of the team together talking on the group. Any info, discussion, decision point floated in that group will never have a logical end not will have a conclusion ever at all. Cause each one types whatever the want. The disasvantages of such groups include being subject to people talking about unfinished work, loose comments on others jobs and worst of all, long forward messages that never end. Even one to one conversations happen in the group at a lot of instances.
In process of talking so much on WhatsApp to the same colleagues who we see at work 10 hours a day, we lose out on seeing our family faces, hear them out or even have dinner time conversations with them. When right from morning traffic to the night time serial being discussed virtually, are we ceasing to live for the moment. ?? Hell yes! Answers my Mind.
As much as I spoke about misuse, certain things, that make me feel good about WhatsApp groups is the connect it provides. Being part of groups of people in different time zones, cousins in different parts of the world, groups of people who studies, worked together wanting to catch up makes it one of the best means of catch up ever. The time when we used to have international phone numbers and say 'iyayo ISD' WhatsApp has broken those barriers completely. While I see my Now Tech Savvy mom, moderating a group with all her cousins and neices, I feel happy seeing WhatsApp being put to proper use.
While wondering what next will make our lives 'unnecesarily busy', it's time for me to get whacked from all people in the WhatsApp groups I belong to! Minimum 100 slaps I expect!
PS: In the time span of 30 minutes  writing this post I went back into the WhatsApp window atleast like 25 times(excluding personal messages)

Cheers

Re-igniting Romance(post kids)

Though I am yet to experience whatever I am writing here. I would like to surely try what i write and not make it yet another article.
While catching up with a set of close friends(read:now parents of my little darling friends), my friend jokingly commented to his wife "I know we have a baby, but you know what people do if they don get food at home, they go to the hotel" Knowing my friend for years, i completely knew he was joking. But that triggered my thoughts on re-kindling romance post kids. Especially if you have a partner you know long enough to miss each others company. It makes it all the more mandatory to re-kindle the relationship, is it not?
A famous stand up comedian says "a woman's brain is like an interconnected electronic circuit. It jus goes zzzzzzz"
We are the 'XY' chromosomes who keep juggling with things of  mind. Like for example..
"What do i cook?
What i do for the baby?
Need to complete this at work..
Mom said something, right i need to do that..
I need to call for grocery
Oh! I need to clean that draw"
Between all this, we forget one thing major! Their Man.
That's the point. While all the focus goes on the new arrival in the family, family starts to fall apart. While women get so worked up on this, men start working harder just to make up with their boredom.
As a truly loving couple, all they face is growing distance and a dire need to come back. They might even express it to each other, but one needs to really take the effort to get back together!
May be a few small things from picking my little brain i thought could be..
Ordering dinner - Setting up the table at home, candle lit and have a dinner catching up on things
Watching Movie - watching some old time favorite, holding each others hands
Coffee - Sip morning coffee together in the portico/balcony and talk about the day
Dessert - A cake or milkshake together at night after putting the baby to sleep
Walk the Talk - a long walk with the stroller where the kid might also nap in the stroller while you guys get to catch up and talk
At times, I even feel they should leave kids with grandparents and go shopping or so together. A good break helps. A lot lesser frustration and a lot more romance.
Also, research states that for couples who do not get back in 4-6 months post kid, their relationships, their romances suffer.   As we all know, romance might lead to eventually a lot other things that you might have enjoyed doing together in the past too! Giving a u perfect opportunity to be friends again and and great parents.
So! Let love be in the air...
Cheers

Mini Communities in Multicultural Environment

Disclaimer: This post is strictly not against the Tam Brahm cultures or ways – Just that I picked this up as an example being a Tam Brahm myself and knowing the culture at the back of my head. This is applicable to every other community in the country.
Please note that this post might also have quite a bit of Tamil(Brahmin style) – Translations given

Namakaram, Vaango,  Enna panrel.. Inniku aathula enna samayal?
(Translate: Greetings, please come, what’s up, whats cooking at home today)

These are the words one normally hears in a typical Tam Brahm household. To be even more precise a household who are still living in reminisces of the 60’s. Those who think “God is God, rituals are bigger than god, and customs & culture– meant to be followed, the way it is convenient to them, yet claiming it to be the right way” (Ithu thaan vazhakkam). But looks like these days, business meetings and corporate environment hear such words too
Now here, we pause to talk about the kind of people who behave a certain way – just to ‘show off’ their community.

One fine morning at work, when I was engrossed on a presentation, I heard conversations that I would normally expect to hear at home or may be a wedding or even a temple. Looking up to see that, they were colleagues of mine, belonging to the same community.

In the past, I had always wondered, why do they punish me at school when I use vernacular languages, why was I pushed to talk only English all the time at college. Though I was convinced to do it to adapt to an international working environment, it came as a surprise to me when I heard such lingo. But then, where was international here? If I could talk the way I could talk to my athai and paati (aunt and grandmom) at home, why did I struggle to read and write Shakespeare?

As these thoughts ran through my mind I just realized – People did it for sheer ‘show-off’. Were these people true to the values of the community? Do they follow every ritual? Definitely NO, though they might claim to do. People who din talk the same way were shunned, made fun off or even singledout. For example, in Chennai,if someone spoke in Hindi – immediately they get snapped saying ‘Switch of that Zee Tv’! Am sure, same is the case in rest of India too. The evolution of these 'Mini communities in a multi cultural' environment are a huge bane to workspace. In many cases, where conversations are non-understandable, people are judged by language, huge mockery during meetings and moreover ganging up against other communities are a few of the visible disadvantages. 

Greeting people like they were your Uncle/Aunt, using peculiar accent to talk at work environment, I feel is a major disgrace to the community. While usage of this language is completely permitted in a closed circuit, it is inappropriate to be using such lingo in a business meeting with vaango/pongo (tambrahm lingo).

Doing a deep dive of why they use it, obviously when they know English – Looks like bonding, mingling or at times even icing. Talking a particular way makes people judgemental towards you – positive and negative. Though mostly it is manipulated by the person to bring in a positive outcome(you know what I mean). Certain people use it as advantage to get where they want too.
These behaviours in fact brand people too ! These Marwaris are like that, these Bengalis like this, this Brahmins like this (no offence meant).

While most of other countries, international environments, never encounter these issues, mentions my friend from Australia. In fact, there are not permitted to ask you for your gender, community or even religious preferences. Leaves me with the question, “Then Why Us?"
Clueless, answerless and branded as ‘Talking Nonsense’(“Unnaku paithyam pudichurthu di”) by my mom – I still continue to question and will continue to question too!!

The Super 'Grandmom'

The times when being with family was the way of life and "Grandmom" was 'the life' at home are the times my dad was born. Family here means a lot more with 20 people under one roof!

A lot of our dinner-table and tea-time conversations revolve around his Grandmom who my dad can't stop talking about. This article is an excerpt of those conversations and his ramblings about this woman who an epitome of 'self-made' 'self taught' and of course Love !! 

While these days most of us talk a lot about Woman Empowerment, Feminism even when there are opportunities and avenues, she, my dad describes was beyond sheer empowerment in times when women were meant for the kitchen.

Hailing from this well respected Brahmin Clan living in an ancestral palatial home in the temple town of Kumbakonam, all the family went through was bad career decisions by the men, fear of sustanence and a lot more downfalls. The time when 'Kunjani Paati' the nine-yard clad, olden day women rose up to the occassion and turned the life heaven for everyone around her, including his mother and his sister whose marriage lives had turned into unfortunate experiences. Giving her five daughters and granddaughters the best weddings, the grandsons education and of course excellent food for this family of 20 and guests unlimited! My dad still tells me in wonder 

"Is it even possible for a woman to be so selfless, unflappable and shoulder such responsibilities with such limited resources?"

Today when my mom makes mor kali, a south indian delicacy one can see my dad indulge and immediately and describe his Grandmom. 

Even at those times of manual grinders this strong woman used to make batter for dosas all by herself to feed a huge hungry family. When the kids including my dad passed the kitchen, she used to call out to them and proclaim "neengelaam 20 suthu suthina, aaluku 2 dosa!" Meaning - "Grind for 2 mins to earn your 2 extra dosas" and all of them used to religiously help her for it, laughs my dad!

Once, my dad recalls, she developed an ailment, and the strong woman she was, came all alone to Madras for treatment. She called her grandsons to come too, not to help, but for sight seeing! When we cringe to read the papers today, she never left a moment empty and was up to date in news, be it politics or current affairs - a mini 'infopedia'. 

While I have never lived with her or even seen her, my dad describes her so vividly that i feel like she lives along !! He reflects on her thoughts of discipline, empowerment and importance of education, while she saw him proudly graduate. Attributing his career to her push, he says with pride that his 10th grade educated grandmom did everything she could to get him to study to make him in his career. 

Now, as times change, morales and disciplines change and when women are almost treated equally with men,  this one woman is already a benchmark 50 years ago. 

Strong yet Selfless!Brave & Bold!Responsible yet Resilient!Commanding yet Compassionate!Humble yet Proud!

As I reflect on these nostalgic reminisces of my dad, I recognise where he got his respectful attitude to a woman from.  May be that is the quality what my dad looks up to in my mom ! Maybe that's what my dad aspires me to be! An embodiment of love, affection, social consciousness, fortitude, frugality, liberty and a lot more! 

Now.. Today.. Each one of them in her family feel proud to say that they belong to the legacy created by That Woman!! The Mother of all Grandmoms!! 

Cheers